CHRONICLES OF A 1960s BUS CONDUCTOR.
Introduction.
In numerous books about old buses there are plenty of stories about bus drivers but very few about the man on the back end of a bus The Bus Conductor. As I mentioned a few months ago it was to be my intention to write about some of the antics that I got up to when I was a conductor in the 1960s.
I will not try to make it technical, but try to describe what it was like in those days and what we as conductors had to put up with at times and what some of the passengers had to put up with.
I will not mention any names of of bus crews that are still alive or deceased to save their families any embarrassment if they was involved with some of the antics.,but hope you enjoy the true stories which I have had to dig deep into my past.
In numerous books about old buses there are plenty of stories about bus drivers but very few about the man on the back end of a bus The Bus Conductor. As I mentioned a few months ago it was to be my intention to write about some of the antics that I got up to when I was a conductor in the 1960s.
I will not try to make it technical, but try to describe what it was like in those days and what we as conductors had to put up with at times and what some of the passengers had to put up with.
I will not mention any names of of bus crews that are still alive or deceased to save their families any embarrassment if they was involved with some of the antics.,but hope you enjoy the true stories which I have had to dig deep into my past.
PART ONE.
Your fired, these where the words used by my boss in January 1963, (I wondered where Alan Sugar got that saying from it, must have been my boss.) After a few verbal parting shots I told him to shove his job were the monkeys stuff their nuts. At that time I was getting cheesed off at being a painter and decorator, some of the customers were never satisfied, moan, moan, bleeding moan was all some of them could do.
So there I was on a cold January morning standing in Belper bus station with no job, but I knew what I was going to do. I had always fancied being a bus conductor,but I knew that the wages was not all that good but being a painter and decorator I could do a bit of that in my spare time and make the money up.
I caught Trents 160 bus service to Heanor en route of going to Midland General at Langley Mill,there I caught MGO service B1 Nottingham down to Langley Mill depot. Finding my way to the personal department or whatever it was called in them days I asked if there were any vacancys for bus conductors, I was informed that there was and that there was also bus driving jobs going as well, but I chose the conductors job.I was given an application form to fill in, it also included a form for a medical. Form filled in, I went off for a medical at my local doctors. In them days you could see a doc almost right away, not like nowdays. The medical was passed so the next day which was a Tuesday I went back to Langley Mill and handed all the completed forms in. This journey involved catching two buses, and as I lived in Cotmanhay at that time I caught the B2 Ripley bus and got off at Heanor and caught the B1 down to the depot and there I handed the forms in and was accepted to become a trainee conductor. I was told to report to Midland Generals Ilkeston depot at 5-oclock am on Wednesday morning, I thought hell thats the middle of the night.
My mother got me up a 4am wattered an fed me and sent me off bleary eyed off to the depot.I walked from Bridge St. to the MGO depot on Rutland St at the bottom of the town.
When I arrived at the garage I was greeted by a thick blanket of blue diesel smoke,(Todays elf and safety Taliban would have had a field day on seeing that). After fighting my way through the fog I found the duty Inspectors office, coughing out about 10 cubic feet of diesel fumes, reporting to the man on duty "Er Lynn Pestell reporting for duty sir" I said,"oh yes" he replied "your name is on my list I will take you to the man who will be training you.
The man I was introduced to was a very pleasant and likable man, and after all the pleasantries where dispensed with I studied him, he was as tall as he was as round with red rosey cheeks, his teeth looked like the brown colours on a Dulux colour card, and his trousers where at half mast.
"Our bus is not due out till 5-45" he informed me, so he took me and shown me round the garage, and that was my first introduction to the buses I would be working on, and by this time the blue fog had dispersed. My tutor pointed out and named all the buses I would likley to be conducting.These were AEC Regals and Regents, Bristol Ks, Bristol LD Lodekkas , Bristol FSF and FLFs. The only FLF the had at Ilkeston was fleet no 514 which is now a preserved bus located in Switzerland. Also in the garage the was Bristol Ls, Bristol MWs, and Leyland PS1s.
"Right Lynn Are you ready to become a bus conductor" said my tutor "ready as I will be" I replied. " Have you ever been in the army" he asked, "no sir" I answered, "well you are in some sort of army now now" he continued, "you are the soldier, the bus is your weapon, and those B*****ds who travel on them are the enemy, and you remember that my lad". I would remember those words on a few occasions in the future weeks ahead, to an extent those words would prove to be true.
He began to show me how to operate the Setright ticket machine, instead of telling me that you turn the machine handle he said "you waller the handle round and out pops a ticket".
Below are the top and side view of the the Setright.
So there I was on a cold January morning standing in Belper bus station with no job, but I knew what I was going to do. I had always fancied being a bus conductor,but I knew that the wages was not all that good but being a painter and decorator I could do a bit of that in my spare time and make the money up.
I caught Trents 160 bus service to Heanor en route of going to Midland General at Langley Mill,there I caught MGO service B1 Nottingham down to Langley Mill depot. Finding my way to the personal department or whatever it was called in them days I asked if there were any vacancys for bus conductors, I was informed that there was and that there was also bus driving jobs going as well, but I chose the conductors job.I was given an application form to fill in, it also included a form for a medical. Form filled in, I went off for a medical at my local doctors. In them days you could see a doc almost right away, not like nowdays. The medical was passed so the next day which was a Tuesday I went back to Langley Mill and handed all the completed forms in. This journey involved catching two buses, and as I lived in Cotmanhay at that time I caught the B2 Ripley bus and got off at Heanor and caught the B1 down to the depot and there I handed the forms in and was accepted to become a trainee conductor. I was told to report to Midland Generals Ilkeston depot at 5-oclock am on Wednesday morning, I thought hell thats the middle of the night.
My mother got me up a 4am wattered an fed me and sent me off bleary eyed off to the depot.I walked from Bridge St. to the MGO depot on Rutland St at the bottom of the town.
When I arrived at the garage I was greeted by a thick blanket of blue diesel smoke,(Todays elf and safety Taliban would have had a field day on seeing that). After fighting my way through the fog I found the duty Inspectors office, coughing out about 10 cubic feet of diesel fumes, reporting to the man on duty "Er Lynn Pestell reporting for duty sir" I said,"oh yes" he replied "your name is on my list I will take you to the man who will be training you.
The man I was introduced to was a very pleasant and likable man, and after all the pleasantries where dispensed with I studied him, he was as tall as he was as round with red rosey cheeks, his teeth looked like the brown colours on a Dulux colour card, and his trousers where at half mast.
"Our bus is not due out till 5-45" he informed me, so he took me and shown me round the garage, and that was my first introduction to the buses I would be working on, and by this time the blue fog had dispersed. My tutor pointed out and named all the buses I would likley to be conducting.These were AEC Regals and Regents, Bristol Ks, Bristol LD Lodekkas , Bristol FSF and FLFs. The only FLF the had at Ilkeston was fleet no 514 which is now a preserved bus located in Switzerland. Also in the garage the was Bristol Ls, Bristol MWs, and Leyland PS1s.
"Right Lynn Are you ready to become a bus conductor" said my tutor "ready as I will be" I replied. " Have you ever been in the army" he asked, "no sir" I answered, "well you are in some sort of army now now" he continued, "you are the soldier, the bus is your weapon, and those B*****ds who travel on them are the enemy, and you remember that my lad". I would remember those words on a few occasions in the future weeks ahead, to an extent those words would prove to be true.
He began to show me how to operate the Setright ticket machine, instead of telling me that you turn the machine handle he said "you waller the handle round and out pops a ticket".
Below are the top and side view of the the Setright.
After a bit of tutoring it was time to find our bus and driver, we found him and the bus he was a scruffy looking bugger with a fag hanging out of his mouth. All introductions dispensed with I found that he was from Cotmanhay same as me so I thought he's got a lot going for him and instantly liked him.
The duty that we were going to do was the Ilkeston town service, that was two runs the A2 Cotmanhay/Cotmanhay Farm to Hallam Fields, and the A3 Cotmanhay/Cotmanhay Farm via Middleton Estate to Hallam Fields.
Over the next few hours I was shown all the ins and outs of being a bus conductor. The bus we where on that first day was a Bristol KSW type, a picture of a K type is below.
The duty that we were going to do was the Ilkeston town service, that was two runs the A2 Cotmanhay/Cotmanhay Farm to Hallam Fields, and the A3 Cotmanhay/Cotmanhay Farm via Middleton Estate to Hallam Fields.
Over the next few hours I was shown all the ins and outs of being a bus conductor. The bus we where on that first day was a Bristol KSW type, a picture of a K type is below.
Tea breaks on the town service were pretty good, if you terminated at Cotmanhay Bridge St. you could get a jug of tea from a shop at the top of Clinton Terrace, both long gone. At the Cotmanhay Farm terminus a kind lady nearby would supply drinks for a small fee.
As I was only learning I was only on the early shifts, it was not permitted for a trainee to work lates. Until I received my license I could not issue any tickets, all I could do was ring the bell for passengers getting on or off.
After a few days I got my license and badge this meant that I could start to do the job that I was paid for, my badge no was EE46730 and my clock no for Ilkeston depot was 220.
As I was only learning I was only on the early shifts, it was not permitted for a trainee to work lates. Until I received my license I could not issue any tickets, all I could do was ring the bell for passengers getting on or off.
After a few days I got my license and badge this meant that I could start to do the job that I was paid for, my badge no was EE46730 and my clock no for Ilkeston depot was 220.
After about a week I was let loose on my own, I was put on what they called the spare shift, that involved if someone blobbed in the morning I would do their shift. (Blobbed, it means overlaid or coulnt be botherd to turn in).
This gave me the opportunity to do the other runs that involved doing what was called the country run, that was going Nottingham to Ripley B1/B2 And the short runs round Wollaton E1/E8/F5/and F9 Kirk Hallam.
Now as my tutor called It I was going off to war!.
Part 1 published on 26 December 2011.
This gave me the opportunity to do the other runs that involved doing what was called the country run, that was going Nottingham to Ripley B1/B2 And the short runs round Wollaton E1/E8/F5/and F9 Kirk Hallam.
Now as my tutor called It I was going off to war!.
Part 1 published on 26 December 2011.
PART 2
New starters were not issued with a uniform but were given a summer jacket which was a greyish colour with a Blue collar, and being that it was winter a very heavy winter coat was issued, this was back with yellow piping around the collar and white vinyl cuffs and it hung well passed your knees like a World war 1 trench coat.
At the start of each shift you was equipped with a black steel box witch contained the Setright ticket machine, paper cash bags, spare rolls of tickets, a waybill,a book of emergency tickets with carbon paper witch was the companies copy, and whistle that was used by the conductor as a warning signal when the driver was reversing, a time table and fare table.
Also carried was a leather cash bag, it was in the best interest of the conductor to make sure that there was a substantial amount of float in it consisting of ha'pennies, pennies, threepenny bits, and small silver coins, if you did not have this, the first passenger to get on the bus would tender a ten bob or pound note hoping you had got no change so he or she could get off without paying,when the buggers tried it on me they would finish up with a pocket full of copper coins.
The driver and the bus were allocated and there was one more thing to do and that was to check in a mirror that was in the garage to see if you were dressed smart,you never knew if some decent crumpet was going to get on the bus.
I cannot remember what was the first route I was allocated, but if it was the first bus out of the depot it was the D9 to Nottingham on "A" duty that departed Ilkeston market at 4-56am.
This route went by Wollaton pit and that was one of the runs were the crafty buggers tied it on with trying to pay a 7d fare with a ten bob or pound note. There were a few miners on the bus for this run but not many going in Nottingham. On arrival it was my job to change the destination blind, this done I made my way to the busmans canteen, the driver had already shown me where the canteen was and asked me to get the tea in. when I opened the door to it what a sight, the elf and safety weirdos would have fainted if they had seen the state of it but it looked homely,as it was only 5-25am there were a few Barton and Trent crews already in. As I approached the counter I studied the lady serving she was a right little dumpling, she looked like a Sumo wrestler, the most notable thing about her face was her lipstick, it must have been
half an inch thick she must have had it spread on with a trowel. "Can I help you duck" she asked
"yes two cups of tea I replied", on passing my tea she wanted to know if I wanted any food, I told her that I would have beans on toast. I was still staring at her when she produced a saucepan half full of of what looked like leftovers from the previous day all dried up and stuck to the pan sides, going to the fridge she got a bottle of milk out and poured some into the beans and mixed them up, I had to look the other way as I was about to bost out laughing. After a while she shouted "who ordered beans on toast" "I did I replied", I paid her and took the beans and the two mugs of tea to the table that the driver had already got for us. That meal was delicious, but I bet the Political correct weirdos and the elf an safety taliban would not agree with it.
The break over it was time to leave Mount Street bus station and head off to Ilkeston.
Setting off from mount street bus station I thought now I have my first full day as a bus conductor on my own, I checked all the dials on the ticket machine to make sure they where all set properly when issuing tickets, any discrepancys when I was cashing up would have to be made up by myself there was no way you could fiddle that ticket machine.
That first day went well, but as with any job there was a lot to learn especially that of human nature and how awkward some people can be.
Part 2 published on January 30th 2012.
PART 3
On a weekday morning duty those words came back to me that was said to me the first day I started, "You are the soldier, the bus is your weapon, and some of those B*****rds that travel on the are the enemy. This I found to be true on a run from Wollaton Vale to Nottingham.
We had to run light from Nottingham to Wollaton Vale,(Running light meant not on service), as we approached the Admiral Rodney pub in Wollaton village my driver sounded his horn to get the attention of a blind couple which was a signal that had been adopted by MGO drivers to let them know that this was their bus when it came up from the vale on the F5 servise.
Our first pick up was at Wollaton Rise and I noticed that there was more passengers than was normal for that run. "Your late" was the moan from some of the mardyarsed passengers, "I'm not driving the bloody thing" I thought to myself.At each bus stop there was a bigger load of people getting on, I found out that there was a bus missing so we had got its load and I began to worry that the blind couple might not get a seat.
Arriving at the Rodney the crowd about to get on would give us a three bell load. As the bus stopped a stampede of toffee nosed selfish snobs got on the bus leaving the blind duo with no seats,"Would anyone make room for these two" I shouted,no responce came they threw me a deaf one, out came the Times and the Gaurdian Journal, They must be deaf or pig ignorant I thought so I repeated my previous request only louder, I wonder if my gob had some effect on their hearing," We'll catch the next bus" on of the blind lads said "No you will not you came for this bus and this bus you will travel on" came my reply.
Meanwhile the driver was getting impatient waiting for me to ring the bell, I got off the bus and informed him what was going on, "If thats the case this bus will not move until those two have got a seat. So we both lit up a cigarette each and waited for some action. The blind duo still insisted on catching another bus, I told them to stick it out as some of the selfish boggers will give way. Empty buses where going passed,so some of the passengers gave way with the usual threats to report me. My two passengers had now got a seat,ding ding! the bus set upon its way.
The remaining passengers on the bus where still moaning at my attitude,"When reporting me don't forget my name and number Pestell 220 Ilkeston depot I replied. Going round the bus getting the fares in I was running the gauntlet of mardyarsed moaners once more as they were threatening to report me."Two 7p tickets to Nottingham" said one of the blind lads, but it was my rule not the bus companys not to charge blind people, so I ignored their request.
All fares in rightly or wrongly I was proud of myself for making a stand against selfish passengers. Filling my waybill in,Gulp! one of the more unlikeable Inspectors was at the next bus stop we came to. Those passengers who got off and caught one of the other buses that where now in front of ours would been pouring their sad hearts out to him, telling their version of the events that would be different from the true facts. (Some peoples hobby was dropping bus crews in the you know what).
When he got on the bus he shot me a look that shown that I had been a bad bad boy, and his face looked more grumpy than normal, and then I knew I was for it.
After a short explanation from me about the events at Wollaton he took my waybill and went round the bus to check the passengers tickets, when he came back he informed me that two people had not got tickets, "Whats the use of giving them tickets" I replied, " They can't see them". Thats when his blood pressure rose to boiling point and he gave me a lecture on Midland Generals rules and regulations. He then ordered me to collect their fares, I gave them each a ticket but refused to accept any money from them, I knew I would be short when I cashed up but that did not bother me.
"I will have to make a report about this" he informed me, I didn't argue with him, I felt like telling him to stuff the job where the monkeys shove their nuts.
The rest of the duty went without incident so when I got back to the depot I cashed up and went home wondering what the next day would bring.
The following day when I went to clock in I noticed a white letter in my clock card space. It was a letter from the chief Inspector ordering me to report to him at his office at Langley Mill to explain the previous days occurrence, and that if I wish I could bring my union rep with me, that I declined.
Throughout the day there was a lot of teasing from the other drivers and conductors about what I had done, mind you if it had been one of them that had done what I had done I would have taken the piss. You are for the sack they jibed!
Later on when I reported to the Chief Inspector I waited for the third degree treatment to come, I thought if I was constipated this showdown would cure it.
Whilst explaining the alleged crime I looked round the Chief Inspectors desk to see if he had a black cap to put on before passing sentence. After reading the riot act, and quoting the companies rules and regulations sentence was passed, I waited for him to find and put a black cap on but he had not got one, but he informed me that I had been a bad boy "Three day suspension effective from now" he awarded me.
Phew! I was ready for a pint, but pubs in those days were not open like they are now, I had got off light.
The first days suspension came and went, but on the second day at about 6 am my mother woke me up saying that someone from Midland General to see me, It was an Inspector and he informed me that they were short of conductors and would I come and do a shift and forget about the suspension, not being an awkward person I agreed, and that was the end of the incidence. I had lost a days pay but it was worth it to me, to prove my point do'nt take the mickey out of blind people.
Published on Feb 21st 2012.
PART FOUR
People running to catch a bus was always good for a laugh, if some of the drivers saw them they would put their foot down on the pedal and not bother to wait for them, most would wait for them and pick them up.
Some passengers if they saw a runner would shout "There's a runner" depending what mood I was in I would throw a deaf one and pretend I did not hear them and think under under my breath "If they ran fast enough they would'nt need a bus, and if they kept on about it I would inform them that the bus has not got any brakes inside, and carry on collecting money for the company showing them that I had the companies interest at heart.
The best runner that I encountered was on a morning shift on the B1 Ripley to Nottingham route, the bus that day was an AEC Regent 3 with a preselect gear box, they was an open platform type and very nippy on take off. The bus had pulled up outside the Market Hotel on Heanor market.A few passengers got on the bus and as I was about to press the bell, I saw him, the runner! The driver also spotted him and he knew what was on my mind, so he selected first gear and the bus gave a slight jerk.
Imagine the scene in slow motion,him running,the driver ready to put his foot down, and my finger on the bell.
Closer and closer he came towards the bus.
Tension building up my finger began to tremble on the bell.
He began to sweat.
My heart was pounding.
Only a few feet to rear hand rail.
He was a lovely mover, very athletic.
He was almost at the platform.
His hand nearly on the rail.
I began to sweat with the excitement.
His hand reached for the pole.
Ding Ding. went the bell.
The bus shot off like a missile, as he grabbed a handful of fresh air. F*****g B*****d he shouted as we shot passed Heanor Church.
"That was a dirty trick" shouted one of the passengers. "What was" I replied, "you saw that man running" screamed one of them. "Well I did not" was my reply and commenced collecting their fares, the moaners on the bottom deck wouldn't let it drop, so to appease them I fetched the running board out of the bus locker, "show me where it says on here that we should wait on Heanor Market for a runner" I asked them, silence descended on them, "we are approaching Langley Mill depot if you are not satisfied get off and make a complaint against me Pestell 220 Ilkeston depot". No one got off,but the looks on some of the faces would question my parenthood.
The rest of the run passed without incidence, and I was my usual pleasant self with the passengers.
It was when we arrived at Mount Street and I went to change the destination route on the blind
the driver opened his window " what the bloody hell where you playing at on Heanor Market" he stormed "if you had been much slower on the bell that bugger would have caught the bus!".
PUBLISHED ON 23rd MARCH 2012.
PART FIVE
I have never been interested in sports, but on one run I was about to learn the noble art of wrestling.
Being a single bloke at that time I was always a willing participant in chatting up young female passengers wether they were single or married. I was yet again on the B1 run Nottingham bound, it was mid morning on a bright sunny day, approaching a bus stop at Nuthall a young woman flagged the bus down, the bus at that time was a Bristol Lodekka with an open platform,the bus pulled level with the bus stop and I noticed she had a child and a push chair "Go and sit yourself down me duck I will see to your push chair" I said to her. When the push chair was safely on the platform I rang the bell and ding ding off we went, and now to put it under the stairs, looking at it it looked as big as an ancient roman chariot and as menacing.
Now to put it away thats when my thoughts clicked in, now how does it fold up it must be this way ouch! I trapped my finger, this was the start of the wrestling match. I spotted a lever this must be the thing that makes it fold S**T the bloody thing opend up more and jammed under the stairs, next thing that happened the mattress and blanket came spewing out of it I tried to stuff it back when my hand got stuck Oh B****cks I wish I had not of offered to put the bloody thing away, freeing my hand I noticed that blood was spewing out of one of my fingers, so I tried something else and trapped my other hand. B*****d you will not get the better of me,I got that hand free and that one was spewing blood out, at this rate I will need a blood transfusion and I felt like throwing the bloody thing of the bus. Eventually I got the cow under the stairs, the bloody thing had won the match by a hundred submissions.
Passengers were still getting one the bus and the tickets I was giving out were covered in blood it looked more like a blood transfusion bus than a service bus. When we arrived in Nottingham the bitch that owned the thing dare not look me in the face, and as for getting the lethal thing off the bus that was her problem I did'nt care if she had a dozen kids with her so I left her to wrestle with while I changed the destination blind.
I made a vow after that episode that I would not put another push chair under the stairs I would rather push them off the bus.
After that when I spotted one of them at a bus stop I would shoot upstairs. "Er any more fares please". I would enquire, knowing that I had already got them in. After watching them struggle putting their push chairs under the stairs from the upstairs mirror I would come down stairs full of charm and say. "You should have shouted me and I would have helped you" If any one would have asked for help, I would have thrown a deaf one!
I have never been interested in sports, but on one run I was about to learn the noble art of wrestling.
Being a single bloke at that time I was always a willing participant in chatting up young female passengers wether they were single or married. I was yet again on the B1 run Nottingham bound, it was mid morning on a bright sunny day, approaching a bus stop at Nuthall a young woman flagged the bus down, the bus at that time was a Bristol Lodekka with an open platform,the bus pulled level with the bus stop and I noticed she had a child and a push chair "Go and sit yourself down me duck I will see to your push chair" I said to her. When the push chair was safely on the platform I rang the bell and ding ding off we went, and now to put it under the stairs, looking at it it looked as big as an ancient roman chariot and as menacing.
Now to put it away thats when my thoughts clicked in, now how does it fold up it must be this way ouch! I trapped my finger, this was the start of the wrestling match. I spotted a lever this must be the thing that makes it fold S**T the bloody thing opend up more and jammed under the stairs, next thing that happened the mattress and blanket came spewing out of it I tried to stuff it back when my hand got stuck Oh B****cks I wish I had not of offered to put the bloody thing away, freeing my hand I noticed that blood was spewing out of one of my fingers, so I tried something else and trapped my other hand. B*****d you will not get the better of me,I got that hand free and that one was spewing blood out, at this rate I will need a blood transfusion and I felt like throwing the bloody thing of the bus. Eventually I got the cow under the stairs, the bloody thing had won the match by a hundred submissions.
Passengers were still getting one the bus and the tickets I was giving out were covered in blood it looked more like a blood transfusion bus than a service bus. When we arrived in Nottingham the bitch that owned the thing dare not look me in the face, and as for getting the lethal thing off the bus that was her problem I did'nt care if she had a dozen kids with her so I left her to wrestle with while I changed the destination blind.
I made a vow after that episode that I would not put another push chair under the stairs I would rather push them off the bus.
After that when I spotted one of them at a bus stop I would shoot upstairs. "Er any more fares please". I would enquire, knowing that I had already got them in. After watching them struggle putting their push chairs under the stairs from the upstairs mirror I would come down stairs full of charm and say. "You should have shouted me and I would have helped you" If any one would have asked for help, I would have thrown a deaf one!